Ideal Family; an Elusive Dream

                                                By Vic Odarve

Although all families can be strong and healthy, only a few seem to have it “together” while other families seem to struggle in pain in keeping their own. An ideal family is a place of love whose members are bonded together by cheerful and loving parents, socially and academically successful children. The family members share pleasant things and work as a unit, and parents manage disagreements constructively through effective communication. But in the real world, only a few succeeded; for others, an ideal family remains a dream and imagination.

Picnic together

Picnic together

In an ideal family, parents as prime mover must provide comfort and emotionally fulfill to all members. They must be cheerful and loving and spend a positive time together with the kids, and in the process build their wonderful feelings and relationship. Talking, planning, and working certain things together build  strong family ties. Since every individual is unique and disagreements arise, conflicts must be dealt constructively. Effective communication provides an emotional and sound environment.

Outstanding family results in a well knitted and strong children’s relationship bonded together by love. They look their parents as a model. They should love each other the same as their father loves their mother. They learn how their parents do everything to keep the family connected and bonded together; how activities are managed and controlled to make the world going around harmoniously.

Mayana Village  with all of its beautiful sunsets

Mayana Village with all of its beautiful sunsets

But in married life, it is not always a picture of beautiful sunsets; sometimes the journey is rough and temptation abounds along the way. When I visited a friend of mine a few days ago, his family seemed perfect; the beautiful home with three kids, beautiful cars of the latest model, beautiful wife managing a good company; everything as it would appear was perfect. And he was just promoted to an executive in a big company; his career in high gear. But spending a weekend with them, I noticed their family was not a happy one. There seemed to be a feeling of disunity among them, negative attitude of the children is clear, and love insecurity, etc.…. The wholesome relationship was obviously missing… an ingredient that cannot be filled up with all the material things and work successes they have possessed.

Sometimes couples’ relationship and life satisfaction set off to its lowest point; turns sour, humiliation, distress, troubling, sleepless nights, and if not well attended, ended in divorce and separation. Even kings, princes, and celebrities in our society separated their wives or husbands one after the other. In 1527 King Henry VIII of

Happy moment

A happy moment

England, after feeling dissatisfaction in giving birth to his wife, a son, separated his wife Catherine and married Anne Boleyn. This act was not approved by Rome and after years of conflicting views, England established their own Anglican Church. There are celebrities, too, that have been very successful in their careers, but not so successful with their marriages. One of them is famous Elizabeth Taylor, who has taken sacred vows eight times, and still found the ideal family elusive.

Henceforth, for several people the search for ideal family exists only in imagination. The commitment of love and dedication for husband and wife and children is simply out of the spectrum; numerous culprits wreak havoc on the relationship which finally leads to an ugly end… to divorce and separation. When parents separate, it creates a great pain in the whole family, but as time passes, children learn to adjust and understand that family life is not at all ideal!

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